The Sea
There is a storm inside me when my sun is away. When my thoughts are illuminated and filled with you, I'm a brew of excellent intentions and good company. But now my sun is missing. You are gone, my skies seem to fade away. The storm becomes a full roar in my chest, when tsunami tides becomes nothing more than dew drops on my paper- the rainbow after the rain makes me think of you. It's an incredibly scary thing to harbor an entire storm inside me. My chest opens up and my run cage releases an entire world of waves. When lightening is nothing more than a dance up my spine and the thunder grazes across my skin as goosebumps. Once I'm done shaking, I think of you. The thought of you turns the roaring company into sweet sounds of soft waves and pebbles hitting my ocean floor. White water breaks at the shore and it always seems to catch me. No matter what the storm may bring, I always get washed up in you. I'll call you my anchor and I would name you my ship, my boat, my safe harbor. A life ring that keeps me high enough over the salty silence that comes with my stormy nights. Nothing can compare to you. You are my sea, I will forever be drowning in the depths of you. -tnh |
I Crave
A name. A tradition. A something all my own. An experience worth wild. I crave indifference and uniqueness. Thoughts all my own with no opinion of others. A force built from my mighty power and a shield wielded from my love. I crave to exude my well being and strut myself like it is all mine; because it is deserved. My name is my safe haven and my word is a beast whom will never know tame. Hear me? Give me experience to rant about. Take me places, try new things, break all laws. Forget everything and run with me. Feed my creativity and I will love you forever. -tnh |
Sunset Boulevard
It is a heartbreak. It is a memories past. It is a calling on home to heaven. Death; the five letter word that let’s us know that we are still human and our time must come. Ripped away from our loved ones while we watch as their life leaves this earth. Leaving behind only memories and the what could have been. I despise this thing we call death. Never again to see a warm, inviting smile. Never again able to hold or speak or laugh or play. I tell you, I despise this death. Left to live life without a loved one, a brother, a sister, a mother. Left only with the feeling that their spirit is still inside us. For some, that reason isn’t good enough. For others, holding on to the spirit is their only means of moving on. I pray that they are all in a better place. Living inside those pearly gates doing everything their heart ever desired. Life must be so grand outside of earth seeing God only excepts the greats. He gives you life, sends you down with a purpose, but always know one day, he will call home for you. All Gods children will be with him one day, and it’ll be like they never left. -tnh |
Golden Silence
A kiss of death. It is a piece of my personality. Apart of me to say the lease… I promise it is not one of my moods. I am okay, I am just quiet. Sit back, open my eyes and get a chance to observe my surroundings. Peace and quiet, such a grand opportunity to toss thoughts around in my head. Solitude, finding things within myself. Saving my voice for better days. Haha.. Can you handle the awkward silence? Some days I wish not to speak. Little conversations here and there are accepted. Cleverly I can keep them brief enough to fit my standards. Do not expect a hello or demand conversation. I am not interested in verbalizing my feelings today. Respect my thoughts are kept for personal gain. I am consumed within myself. Focused on myself only. No hard feelings. I promise I am okay. Personality calls it golden silence… -tnh |
Freedom is simplicity.
Let me explain…. Freedom is the action of exercising choice and making decisions without constraint. Its simple. Freedom is doing what you love without the restrictions of the word no. Do what you want. Be what makes you warm on the inside. Reach for goals that will better you and complete you. Stand behind your feelings and don’t let anyone tell you how you should be feeling. Have freedom because freedom provides peace and peace is happiness. Freedom is simplicity. Happiness is divine. Do what makes you happy & fuck everything else that doesn’t. -tnh |
Knowing
How long does it really take to get to know someone? When I mean know, I mean taking yourself out of your shoes and literally entering theirs. How do you know them? How they think? How they feel? Why they act the way they do. How long does it really take? Interior motives and unspoken thoughts. Leaves the mind wondering… do I really know this person I am with? Staring into her eyes, I wonder. Do I know her? Can I trust words when actions are different? Can I trust actions when the words sound so good? Can I trust myself to know everything about the person I’m with. Knowing is half the battle. -tnh |
Sensual
Peace within oneself Good on your back Whiff of the vanilla candle Sole confinement Lingering fingers Soft moans. Passions rising Its just a little sexual arousal. -tnh |
Corporate America
Why?? Why can’t I be me? Especially when I live in the “land of the free”? Bullshit. I can’t marry the woman of my dreams because the government is in our bedroom. I can’t have expression on my body because it’ll hinder me from getting a real job. I can’t all the way say whati want because even with the first amendment, my words are still watched. Fuck. Fuck America. Freedom comes with standards that I simply don’t agree with. So I say forget America. Can I be myself please? That’s all I want to do. Be the best of me. I want to write. I want to edit. I want the world to hear my thoughts and how I have to say them. I want to photograph nude women and write about massive monsters and critize myself the whole way there. Let me put every creative idea on paper to present to this world. See me. Understand me. I want my mind exploited for the better of myself. Shit. HEAR ME! I refuse to sit behind a desk. Why? My creativity is limited, imagination can’t go far stuck behind a desk. The man won’t control me. I’m too powerful for that. So again I ask…can I just be me? -tnh |
Extraction of Feeling.
A piece is gone. A hunk. Replaying vivid images of the hospital visit. Why? Why is my brother laying on that bed. Cold skin, torn face, no pulse. Cold…so cold. Where is his warmth? He is dead. What is dead? Its infinite absence.. its unbearable aches… its a broken heart. Absence of life is my deepest fear. His presence was my greatest love. A bond so strong it was unspeakable. Known presence of the immense amount of love expanded daily. He was under my wing, unknowingly I carried him. Such a love can only be bred by siblings. Sixteen years…we grew. Getting in trouble, making the grades and being known for the kids with the best manners. He was mine. Figuratively speaking my everything. Something like a permanent role dog you were unexpectedly hatched with, then even more unexpectedly falling in love with. Baby brother…where are you? I need you to come back. Your absence is eating me alive. Why is this real? How could your precious life be snatched away so sudden? I do not understand. The pain runs deep, it’s matched with the crack split center down my heart. You know I’m bleeding internally right? This heart of mine is tarnished..stained with vast pain. -tnh |
Something Within
Lying deep within nuzzled tightly in your soul You find happiness Seemingly little moments in time Render high hopes and smiles It comes and it goes A meteor to every emotion A call telling your brain It’s not always here to stay. Bundled memories. For safe keeping, it’s locked. -tnh |
Creativity
Learning myself.. Its something so new and exciting. I’m experiencing new things. Shifting my thoughts and views. Creativity pours through me. I know what I want. What I want to look like. How I want the world to see me. Give in to me. Let me soothe you with my personality and charm. Do you see my art? Can you spot my craft? -tnh |